Well, I am starting to exercise again and trying to lose a much needed 45-50 lbs. After two children, I have let myself go. You would have thought after having my gall bladder removed in January I would have kept with my new low fat lifestyle. No, I went back to the old one, and I just decided this past weekend I need to do something instead of complaining about being over weight. I have struggled with my weight all of my life except for a year or two where I pretty much starved myself to be thin. I thought it was all about being thin not about being healthy. Oh the ride was fun since everyone would comment on how much weight I had lost and I looked great. I could fit into all those cute clothes like everyone else. At what cost though? I constantly heard God saying, “what are you doing? I have more for you. You can lose your life or risk not having children.” I was losing my hair, felt like I was going to pass out all the time, could not think, I was trying to bury the pain of losing my father and grandfather so close together. Through God I stopped. I did get some counseling and to this day I still have thoughts. I went to the other extreme as most of us do, overeating. I emotionally eat. If I get stressed, sad, happy, depressed I eat. I don’t buy junk food because of that very reason, yet I have still managed to put on so much weight since I got married. I want to be healthy. I do not want to die at an early age like my dad. I don’t want my children to go through the same food struggles I go through.
This was my wake up call. This year, 2007, I am going to get healthy and stay healthy. It is not about a number but a way of life. A way to feel good, look good and feel alive. I don’t feel that now. I am in constant physical pain with my back because my 5 foot 1 inch frame was not made to carry this much weight. My legs and entire body hurt. I want to feel like a 30 year old not a 65 year old.
I started yesterday. I walk on the treadmill for 15 minutes a day so far. My goal is to work up to 30-45 minutes a day. I am also watching what I eat. I do like sweet stuff so instead of cutting it out all together I buy the 100 calorie pack snacks and it is portioned out for me. I got some tips off biggest loser. I am also chewing sugar free gum when I am hungry. I am working on low fat and healthy recipes. I am also trying portion control. We have to have boundaries in our lives without them we fall. It is the same with discipline, food, anything really. I am starting to put those boundaries up. This is not only for my health but for my husband and daughters so they will not go through what my mom and I did when we lost my dad. It has been 14 years since he passed away. There is not a moment that does not go by that I do not think about him. What he has missed. He has missed my graduations, high school and college. He has missed my wedding, the birth of my girls and so many other things. We were close and I do miss him. I want to be at every major event in my kids lives and I want to grow old with my husband, so for that I will sacrifice and lose the weight, exercise and eat healthy. It is a lifestyle not a diet. It is so important and I am finally getting that.
I have not viewed it myself but I was inspired by Opera’s show featuring Jessica Seinfeld. I even asked for this book for Christmas but since I read this mom’s review and saw some other negative feedback I have decided to check it out from the library and view it before I buy it.
