Divorce what an ugly word

My heart cries out for a family member that just got served with divorce papers. It was not because he cheated or beat her. It was because the economy tanked and he could no longer provide the lavish lifestyle she was accustomed too. How frivolous is that? I thought marriage was sacred. For better or for worse, richer or poorer in sickness and in health. I am deeply saddened that this person chose this course of action instead of sticking it through. She has gone around to all the family playing victum and telling lies about him and even defiled him to their teenage son. I pray restoration for this father and his son and healing for my cousin where he was blindsided by this. He is being an honorable man and not saying a bad thing against her.  I am so heart broken over this. I just don’t understand people being so selfish!

Kate Gosselin filed for divorce, the couples reaction and how they told their kids

I am just not sure airing this in a one hour special is the right thing. I think TLC is doing this for ratings. I just think some things should be kept private. I am sure when the Gosselin children go back and watch these episodes  it will bring up a world of hurt again to see your parents marriage and family being torn apart on national TV.

UPDATE: I gave in and watched the show. I already knew they were separated. You could tell. I was not expecting them to say in the closing credits that they had filed for divorce the day this episode aired. I was shocked and I cried. I guess because you do get attached to these people as you are watching this show from the very beginning. I have not really watched lately because of the way Kate used to act toward Jon and their marriage woes. I felt for those kids. I heard that they have a contract for 7 more years with TLC. The fact that either of them would allow this play out on national TV is appalling. Those kids deserve better. I just really feel for them.  This show was so fun and happy and now it is depressing. I will definitely not be watching any more.

Here is an interview with Kate Gosselin on Mother’s Day Weekend about all the allegations and where their relationship was going.

I found out from TMZ that Kate Gosselin did file for divorce. While the file is sealed, you could see her name as the plaintiff.  Click here to see the post on TMZ.

Click here for more details into their divorce. Kate and Jon speak out to the media on custody arrangements and details of the divorce.

Here is Kevin Kreider’s reaction to his sister and brother in law publicizing their split.

Here is Jon and Kate’s reactions to each other on their recent divorce proceedings.

Truthbreedshatred has the true reality of this so called reality show.

Kate speaks out to people magazine on her reaction to all of this and how she and Jon told the kids.

I know everyone wants to know how the kids are doing but I am just not sure airing their reactions to this life change is healthy or wise. I actually feel for both of them you can tell from the interview that Kate is distraught and loves her children. I think both parties are hurting but they need to stay out of the lime light and focus on these kids.

Here is what the experts are saying about the children.

Money is a powerful thing and has destroyed so many.

I was happy to hear the show is taking a hiatus until August for the couple to work through this rough time. They will also be modifying their schedule once the show resumes.

I pray for this family everyday.

Jon and Kate Gosselin talk about their marriage and the kids

Okay, I really don’t watch this show any more but I wanted to see them set the record straight on all that is going on. 10 million of us tuned in. I am not sure how much longer that will last because it was so depressing. You could cut the tension with a knife. I was incredibly sad when I saw them giving separate interviews and I gathered from everything that was said they are not living together any more. It was the way the children clung to Jon when he came to the party and one of the girls said something I don’t like when you leave. My heart broke for those kids. I just remember how happy they were in the beginning before all the fighting and nagging started.

Something that really struck me is Kate was sitting with Jon and she kept talking about her kids all this was for the kids. You cannot put your kids above your marriage. I think if you ask the kids 20 years from now their happiest memories it will be when mommy and daddy were together not all the things they have been blessed with because of their new fame and fortune. You can tell it in Jon’s face and what he says he did not choose all of this. I just think She should have listened to her husband and quit all of this. Living in a million dollar home is not for your kids but for yourself. I believe Kate is a good person who does love her kids and husband but somewhere something got messed up. I think I would be telling TLC to take a hike so we could work on our marriage. Drag me to court if you must but they need to be making that their priority. Kate broke down during her portion of the interview about the children’s party being bitter sweet. She said, “yes because I don’t know if this is their last birthday with us together as a family. I wanted that family picture done.” It is so sad that the show has gone from happy times to them contemplating divorce. I think changes on the part of both of them needs to be done. I think saving the marriage should be front and center above all else. Those kids need both of their parents.

I do read truthbreedshatred and Kate’s sister in law and brother speak on all that is going on. Click here to listen to their interviews. They are very telling.  There is also an article written in the Boston Herold that was posted on this site that I thought was interesting. It is called Jon and Kate should put family first.

All of my friends who watched this were talking about how sad the episode was. I agree. I actually cried at the end. This is so depressing especially after seeing Kate’s brother’s interview. I really hope they can get some counseling and work on this marriage. I pray for those kids everyday.

I just feel for this family. You look back on it and you wonder if they had never done the show would any of these issues happened. There is something about fame and money that changes people. It is just a very sad situation. I really wish them and their children all the best.

Here is the link to catch a clip of Monday’s opening episode and to read people magazine article on this.

Divorce

So I had a conversation with a dear friend today whose husband walked out shortly after their 9th wedding anniversary. He is all better now and living on his own and wants a divorce at some point. He thought about filing for  it right before Christmas but said the kids would not get Christmas due to the expense. How noble of him to wait!

I just don’t know how anyone can just walk out on their family. I had one word for my friend he selfish. He left for himself, he was not happy, he is healing now and does not want to go back to the past. It is all about him.

What about marriage vows?  What about the covenant you make with that other person to look after them and honor them.

I pray she gets blessing upon blessing in her life. She is such a giving and wonderful person and she deserves so much more. I just don’t understand how someone can disregard those vows and look out only for themselves. He has disregarded his wife, and children. I am baffled by the whole thing. I cannot even imagine what my friend is dealing with. Sometimes I just want to slap this guy upside the head.

She told me that God has really helped her through this and we were both commenting we do not know where we would be without him. When the crisis of this world come He not man is our only hope. I firmly believe that I would not be in this life if not for God. I was so devestated by the loss of my father that I wanted to die. I knew though God had a plan for my life. My friend knows no matter how painful this loss that God has a plan for her life and her children. You would like to know that included your spouse but she knows with or without him she was given life for a reason!

Fireproof (A movie review)

I have not personally seen this movie but I really want to. I heard it was really good. Here is a movie review along with a preview of the movie from hotair. It is a movie about a marriage falling apart. I heard every couple should go see this. It is not your typical cheesy christian film. It is worth seeing!

Exploiting your kids

I was thinking about the Gosselins children as I watched the fourth season opener. I also watched this clip on CNN of the Gosselins.

In this clip a former child star Paul Petersen said something that caught my attention. He said, “children need secrets. They don’t need to live in a fishbowl. This is so true. I think about this when I am blogging about my children and my favorite mommy blog, ohmommy, said the same thing. I am very careful about what I discuss in regards to my family. I never want it to be an embarrassment to my children. The only personal thing I have discussed was in regard to my older daughter having body odor and the fear of her starting puberty at such a young age. I prayed about it and I wanted to help other moms or parents and it is one of my highest rated post since I published it. Moms everywhere looking for answers. In regards to the Gosselins, I don’t know the kids are getting older and I agree with this child advocate these kids need secrets. They do not need their life on display. I understand where Jodi and her sister are coming from. Her blog along with another blog, called Gosselins without pity is what captured CNNs attention (I am not positive but I think this blog may be penn mommy) Lots of people are concerned for the children. Truth breeds hatred had a letter from the surviving Dionne quintuplets to the McCaughey Septuplets. Read here for truth breeds hatred’s post on child exploitation including the letter from the Dionne children.

TLC released a statement in response to CNN broadcast which stated ” Because of the show, the kids and the family have economic security and the luxury of a mom who can stay at home and raise them.” I felt a little mixed in my opinions, what would I do if I had eight children? And my other question is should we be relying on our children to provide us income?

I have had so many people tell me I need to get my girls in commercials and magazines. We thought about it for two seconds but I did not want to put my girls out there. It was not for us. I don’t think there is anything wrong with putting your kids in magazines or commercials. My favorite mommy blog, ohmommy, does let her kids model for magazines and ads. She puts the money towards their activities they want to do. They pick their activities and camps. This is wonderful because the kids have a choice. In the Gosselin’s case, they are using that to live on. I think John actually quit his job.  I don’t know I think you are drawing a fine line here. What happens when the show is canceled? I pray they have a back up plan. I guess with the kids all in school now they could both go back to work. Do the kids even want to be on the show or is it just expected. I did hear Kate say as soon as it is not fun anymore they would stop. Would they? I think their intentions were ok in the beginning but when you are used to this lifestyle and fame why would you want to quit. It seems easier said then done. Also you are contracted with the network, I doubt it is that easy to just leave.

I just don’t think having your kids live their every moment in the spotlight especially those challenging moments is the best thing. When a child is an actor or in a magazine they can go home at the end of the day. In the Gosselin’s case, the set is their home. There is no escape. I guess I just really feel for the kids. Should our kids be our economic security?

UPDATE: I think with all that is going on with their marriage the show needs to be canceled. I don’t think Kate would let that happen. I think she would rather be divorced then give up all that she has. It is just very sad. My heart goes out to Jon and the children. You can see that Jon desperately wants his family back and despite what they think the kids know.

UPDATE 2: I guess I was right Kate did file for divorce according to the papers. The fact this show is under contract for 7 more years while all this plays out is appalling. Last night I did watch the special. They announced they were separating then it flashed they had just filed divorce papers. I almost cried. The fact they would just let a marraige fall apart with no counseling. I think they both played a part in this marriage failure but I feel the worst for those kids. What happens if the show tanks and they do not have all the money to continue this lavish lifestyle. It is just unreal.

Twenty is the new male midlife crisis

I have several friends who are in the late 20s or early 30s that spouses just decided they did not want to married and have families anymore so they walked out. I don’t understand what part of the marriage vows they missed. It must of been till death do us part. I think twenty is the new age for a midlife crisis. You no longer want to be responsible so you leave. What they don’t realize is you no longer have the right to be selfish when you get married and especially when you have children. You cannot just leave because you don’t want to do this anymore. What about your wife who you promised to love and cherish through sickness and health, during good and bad. What about your children who adore you more than life itself. You have no right to just walk out. Buck up and be a man.

I know lots of people this has happened too and I know there are a lot more out there. The sad part is they don’t see that they did anything wrong. “what’s the big deal?” The big deal is now your wonderful, beautiful, loving, loyal wife who chose to keep her vows is now a single parent with no one to share her life with and has to cry herself to sleep sometimes because she does not understand why you just decided not to be married anymore. You sweet, loving, beautiful and smart children. What about them? How has this changed their life forever? What do they think or feel? You just left. No explanation or allowing them to ask you why. You just left. You don’t have the right to just walk out or to cheat. If you choose to get married, no matter how you are feeling or not feeling, you need to stay and work it out.

When all of us wives and some husbands took their vows it was forever. I am not talking about those who are in a violent relationship. I am talking to those men or women who are so selfish that they cheat or just walk out on their spouse. It is going on too much and I am sick of seeing my close friends suffer at the fact these men are cowards for just ditching their responsibility.