Lazy Parenting

14 Jul

It riled my feathers up when I read this in a comment on a blog I read. I was reading Doodaddy’s blog on crying it out and he at his wits end with his 2 1/2 year old daughter.  He did not write this offensive remark but a lady did. She said, if you let your children cry it out you are a lazy parent and you most likely put your kids on a leash. Well, the fire was lit and I wrote a response which she will never read but I made my point. I do let my kids cry it out. I would never, ever let a new born or young infant cry it out but after Peanut’s nightly routine is done and she does not want to go to sleep I will let her cry for a bit. She usually settles down in within a half hour. Nine times out of ten she will go right to sleep but every now and then she will cry a bit.  It is a fussy off and on cry. I have gone in there before and she just wanted to play. So, the diaper is dry, she has her ba ba’s and her blanket so it is time to soothe yourself to sleep. If you go in there every time they cry, they will walk all over you. They are smarter than people give them credit for. We broke Pookie of asking for food by letting her cry it out. It was at the tender age of 4 1/2 and we knew this was just to get extra attention because Peanut had just been born. We drew the line. We told her she had already had a snack to which she screamed well we let her scream until she fell asleep two hours later. She never asked for a second snack again. This was in addition to a snack she had already eaten before her routine started. She now eats a snack and it is time for bed. She knows the drill. Now if she cries during the night or Peanut does I am right there because this is out of the ordinary but I am talking about just to get out of going to bed.

The key for us was routine and consistency. We eat a snack, go potty, get a bath, brush teeth and read a story and a story out of the Bible then prayers and lights out. Every night except church nights are the same. I think my not jumping every time my children cry when it is time to go to sleep is not lazy parenting. Pookie talks or reads until she can get to sleep and Peanut is now looking at a book until she falls asleep. I have to have time too. My marriage and my sanity depend on it. If I jump every time Peanut cries I would never get anything done and it is not good for her either. She puts herself to sleep because I did let her cry just a bit. Understand once again I am not speaking about newborns or infants. They need their mothers and crying is the only way to share their needs but a two year old is trying to test the waters especially as my friend said they have been fed and watered and dry diapers. They need to learn to put themselves to sleep. You also need to place a night light because fears can start at this age and consistency and routine.


2 Responses to “Lazy Parenting”

  1. phdinparenting July 18, 2008 at 10:38 pm #

    You say “They need to learn to put themselves to sleep.” But that will happen, with time, when the child is ready, without CIO. It isn’t like there are teenagers and adults wandering around that still need Mommy to put them to bed because their parents neglected to let them cry-it-out.

    Really what you are saying is “I want my 2 year old to put herself to sleep”, which is different from “They need to learn to put themselves to sleep”.

  2. mommynotes July 19, 2008 at 3:42 pm #

    My two year old will not let me rock her. I rocked my 6 year old until she was 3 1/2. My two year old has never really let me rock or hold her much. She will let you read to her now and sit in my lap for just a bit. Ever since she was a small baby she would rather me lay her down and her go to sleep on her own then me rock or hold her. This is her and her personality. Sometimes she does cry a bit because she would rather play then go to bed but she cries off and on for a half hour or less and she is off to sleep. She apparently finds comfort in getting to sleep on her own. My issue with the comment from the other blog is the lady was saying if you let your kids cry then you are lazy and I totally disagree.

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