Tag Archives: men


7 May

Pastor Dennis Rouse is preaching a series of messages right now on the family. He did one this past weekend on the order of the family. It is awesome.  I wanted to share this with you. Here is the website to listen to the messages or watch online.

A word came to me this week that I think God wants us to understand: Order. We serve a God of order. The very creation of the earth follows a path of order. God aligned the Sun and moon and planets in a perfect way so that life could exist here. And, God created mankind with order – created man first, then gave woman to him as a gift – a comparable, complimenting partner with whom he would come together as one flesh.

Yet, we see in Genesis that immediately after this, Satan shows up in the form of a serpent seeking to destroy this relationship. He subverts the created order, knowing that if he can get the woman to step out from under the covering of her husband, all chaos will break loose.

And that’s just what happened. Only a few verses later, we find Adam and Eve hiding from God as he calls out to them, to Adam in particular, “Where are you?” (Read Genesis 3) He didn’t ask where Eve was; he asked where was the person whom he had put in charge of the garden.

That is the question of our day, too – Where are you, men? Today, God is looking for men who will be the men he created and called them to be. It doesn’t seem like there’s a lot of men like that these days, which means there’s a lot of women out there trying to make do without the kind of men they really need. Rather than stepping up and taking ownership, too many men, like Adam, start blaming women as soon as they start getting in trouble, holding them accountable for things God is holding them accountable for.

Guys, it’s time for us to take our place in God’s order. We were neither created to rule over women, nor to be ruled by them. Rather, God’s order is that each woman is to be covered by a man as that man is covered by Christ. That doesn’t mean either the man or the woman is more important or more valuable, but the man is to lead as he is led by Christ – with sacrificial love. Both the husband and the wife have equal footing in the marriage relationship as they lovingly submit to one another. The role of the husband is to lead like Christ, who gave his life for his bride.

When a man treats his wife like Jesus treats the church, she’ll have no difficulty treating him like the church treats Jesus. The key to this is sacrifice. Men, we’re called to sacrifice ourselves in prayer, reading the Word, working to provide, giving up our time and prioritizing our families’ needs in the use of our resources.

Where are men like that? Where are you, men? There are so few men like this, that have this kind of thinking, that love their wives and children and care for them as Christ does the church. Women need real men – not weenie men – who will stand up and lead, even if the woman tries to subvert the order. But remember, a real man doesn’t lead by domination, he leads by serving. We have to listen and work together with our wives as a team. And our children need to see this dynamic in order to grow up with a healthy sense of order, security and love.

So, men, are you ready to accept this challenge? Your wives and children need you. The world needs you. This has to happen if we’re going to unleash the incredible power of family in our world.

This is an excerpt from the message I preached this past weekend. Download, listen to or watch the whole message here.


What men need to know about women

14 May

I thought this was a good message on what men need to know about women. It was written by Pastor Dennis Rouse from Victory World Church. Click here to read article.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.


30 Dec

So I had a conversation with a dear friend today whose husband walked out shortly after their 9th wedding anniversary. He is all better now and living on his own and wants a divorce at some point. He thought about filing for  it right before Christmas but said the kids would not get Christmas due to the expense. How noble of him to wait!

I just don’t know how anyone can just walk out on their family. I had one word for my friend he selfish. He left for himself, he was not happy, he is healing now and does not want to go back to the past. It is all about him.

What about marriage vows?  What about the covenant you make with that other person to look after them and honor them.

I pray she gets blessing upon blessing in her life. She is such a giving and wonderful person and she deserves so much more. I just don’t understand how someone can disregard those vows and look out only for themselves. He has disregarded his wife, and children. I am baffled by the whole thing. I cannot even imagine what my friend is dealing with. Sometimes I just want to slap this guy upside the head.

She told me that God has really helped her through this and we were both commenting we do not know where we would be without him. When the crisis of this world come He not man is our only hope. I firmly believe that I would not be in this life if not for God. I was so devestated by the loss of my father that I wanted to die. I knew though God had a plan for my life. My friend knows no matter how painful this loss that God has a plan for her life and her children. You would like to know that included your spouse but she knows with or without him she was given life for a reason!

Doors:The Doorkeeper

18 Jun

Our Pastor was back and preached a special message about fathers and real men. It was called Doorkeepers. It was great.

DOORS: The Doorkeeper
Today, I want to talk about what it means to be a man, to be the kind of husband and/or father God intends you to be. It’s good to be a man, but becoming a man takes great responsibility.
God created men to be the doorkeepers of their households. A doorkeeper is someone who allows or disallows entrance or activity according to the will of a higher authority. God has commissioned us to be a covering over our wives, our children, our households and, ultimately, our society.

But, something has happened. Most men are not fulfilling their God-given role. Ever since Adam relinquished his authority in the Garden, hid from God and blamed both God and his wife, men have been allowing the Enemy to come in and wreak havoc in their homes and lives. Just as God asked Adam in the Garden, so today our nation and our world are crying out to men, “Where are you?!” For every major problem in society can be traced back to fatherlessness Whether alcoholism, teen pregnancy, marital infidelity, addiction, pornography, homosexuality or others, somewhere at the root of these things there is a lack of fathering.

Men, God wants us to step into our rightful positions of authority. He wants us to lead. It is essential that we do so. You see, our enemy the devil, who wants to destroy what God has created, knows this. So, using bondage and deception, he tries to take authority over the man of the house. This is how he gains access to the household. If he can bind the strongman of the house, he has free access to the goods, the wife, the kids, the money, the peace, the well being, etc.

Because we men are often unaware in certain areas (even dumb at times), I want to expose five strategies that Satan uses to get past us, the doorkeepers:

  1. Disorder – He has made it very unpopular for a man to lead his family and, consequently, many men have abdicated their authority to their wives, contrary to the order God has established throughout Scripture.
  2. Distraction – He tries to get men so caught up in their careers, hobbies, sports or whatever that they withdraw from their families and stop paying attention.
  3. Deception – He tries to get men to remain ignorant of, or forget the power of media and allow things into our homes that are not of God via the Internet, TV, movies, music, etc. Once we fall for this deception, we are easily bound.
  4. Division – Knowing that a house divided cannot stand, Satan works to sew discord and disagreement wherever possible. It’s the man’s responsibility to make sure his house is in a place of agreement. If you and your wife aren’t in agreement, it’s your responsibility, men, to do what it takes to bring that agreement.
  5. Desertion – Satan tries (and all too often succeeds) to convince men into leaving their families altogether. This can be physical desertion, when the father actually leaves for whatever reason, or emotionally; he may be physically present, but he’s completely checked out otherwise.

While all of these things have proven very effective strategies, the good news is that Jesus came to set us free from the devil’s bondage and deception. When he came, he began to establish his authority over the devil. This is no less true in the area of manhood than in any other. You see, Jesus was a real man. He led in the way that we as men need to lead, not through domineering, testosterone-induced tyranny, but by giving himself sacrificially in love and service. And, because of Him, we now have the authority to tread on the enemy. He has empowered us to be real men, to cover our family and guard the doors of our houses.

How? First, we need to sober up to the times we live in. The time is short. Be aware. We can’t get caught dabbling with the things of this world. Spend quality time doing things that build the Kingdom. Recognize that these times are critical. Next, start cleaning house. Take an inventory and find out what goes on inside your home, what goes on behind the closed doors. Establish in your house an open door policy: there is no door in the house that you, as the man, cannot open and look around. Make sure you have the right to challenge your kids in the areas of TV, internet pornography, chat rooms, etc. Also, there can be ungodly things in our house that keep the door open to the devil. Sometimes you’ve got to get radical in your cleaning. Get and keep everything out of the darkness and in the light. The devil cannot operate in the light.

Build a spiritual presence in your home. Every man should be the prayer warrior of his family – not only the wife. Your family needs to see you praying, reading God’s Word, walking in the authority God has given you. It is our responsibility to cover our families in prayer and to wash them in the Word. And remember, you can’t do that for others if you’re not doing it for yourself.

This is such a serious matter; you have to stand guard at all times. Think about how guarded your house is. Are you watching over it, guarding it, or letting the enemy come and go as he pleases? Men, know what’s going on with your family. Don’t leave them unguarded. The enemy wants to hurt your family, but the only way he can get in is if you open the door.

Finally, live in the authority to which God has called you. Be a loving, kind, gentle, serving-based leader, unapologetically and boldly. Get to the place where you’re not worried about what others think about you. Declare as Joshua did, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Kick the enemy out of your house, completely – out of the TV, the computer, your kids’ rooms, etc. Don’t give him any access whatsoever. Can you imagine what your house, church and nation would be like if you started operating your God-given authority? That is what God is calling us to. And that is what I’m challenging you to do today. Be a real man. Be a doorkeeper!

Twenty is the new male midlife crisis

23 Apr

I have several friends who are in the late 20s or early 30s that spouses just decided they did not want to married and have families anymore so they walked out. I don’t understand what part of the marriage vows they missed. It must of been till death do us part. I think twenty is the new age for a midlife crisis. You no longer want to be responsible so you leave. What they don’t realize is you no longer have the right to be selfish when you get married and especially when you have children. You cannot just leave because you don’t want to do this anymore. What about your wife who you promised to love and cherish through sickness and health, during good and bad. What about your children who adore you more than life itself. You have no right to just walk out. Buck up and be a man.

I know lots of people this has happened too and I know there are a lot more out there. The sad part is they don’t see that they did anything wrong. “what’s the big deal?” The big deal is now your wonderful, beautiful, loving, loyal wife who chose to keep her vows is now a single parent with no one to share her life with and has to cry herself to sleep sometimes because she does not understand why you just decided not to be married anymore. You sweet, loving, beautiful and smart children. What about them? How has this changed their life forever? What do they think or feel? You just left. No explanation or allowing them to ask you why. You just left. You don’t have the right to just walk out or to cheat. If you choose to get married, no matter how you are feeling or not feeling, you need to stay and work it out.

When all of us wives and some husbands took their vows it was forever. I am not talking about those who are in a violent relationship. I am talking to those men or women who are so selfish that they cheat or just walk out on their spouse. It is going on too much and I am sick of seeing my close friends suffer at the fact these men are cowards for just ditching their responsibility.