Well, over Christmas I’ve noticed some tiny changes in my 9 1/2 year old daughter. She is in the early stages of puberty. Before I can wrap my brain around all this she brings a letter home that her school is going to be watching a video on sex education. Wow! We’ve had numerous discussions on puberty and body changes for her since she was 3. However, I have not delved into the world of sex education yet and thought I had a little more time. Now I’m reading books on how to approach the subject. A friend recommended a book by Kevin Leman, called a chicken’s guide to talking turkey about sex. I am impressed just by reading the first chapter. I wasn’t sure if it would take a bury your head in the sand approach as a good number of Christians and adults seem too but it is very blunt and I am getting very helpful parenting advice.
My parents never really said anything about puberty or sex other than “don’t have sex before your married.” So when I became a parent I spoke with my husband and we decided we were going to be open, honest and delve into this as a family conversation. I want her to be comfortable with her body through these changes and understand it’s normal. I want her to feel she can come to us at any time and ask any thing she wants. I feel like as a parent you need to research, learn and grow. This is a topic that is so new to me as far as teaching my children so I want to get it right.
Almost everyone I have spoken with said their parents never said anything about sex or puberty we all learned it from TV or our friends. I want my relationship with my daughers to be different. So I am very nervous but I will it’s important and hopefully it will get easier when my now five year old goes through this in a four or five years.
Our school allows us to watch the video they are showing before our children will view it so I am going to do that. If it lines up with our values and what I would be discussing with her then she can view it. I definitely do not want her getting wrong information from her friends.
I cannot believe my first born is old enough to be learning and going through this already. Time flies so quickly and she’ll be graduating high school before I know it.
It was an interesting article from Rolling Stone on Justin Bieber.
Victory World Church is where we grew up mostly spiritually but it will always have a special place in my heart. Anyway, they made the local paper as the church breaking all barriers by talking about a taboo subject SEX! Elephant in the pew is the latest series Pastor Dennis Rouse is preaching. Our pastors were always open about this subject. Here is the article written in the Gwinnett Daily Post. Here is Victory World Church’s website where you can listen to the message online.
Ok so now here is a topic I never discuss. I personally think this is something you should keep between your spouse in my case or partner. I think this is a private matter. However, the reason I am bringing this up is I saw on Oprah a doctor, I think, discussing how you should talk to your child and teen about sex. I thought ok this may be good. Big shock once she got past talking to the 10 year old. She started talking about “self pleasuring” and “sex toys.” I am sorry but I am not discussing these kinds of things with my daughters. I am with Gail, kids and teens today know way to much and are doing to much. I am all for educating my children on the issue of sex and puberty when that time comes. I totally disagree with teaching your children about these things. Education is key in keeping them safe and making wise decisions. I can see that Oprah will probably get tons of letters on this issue. You could even see the older teen girls cringe in their seats when she was discussing these things. I actually turned it off.
When Pookie has questions, I want to answer them. I already have answered some of her questions about puberty and body changes because she notices that my body isn’t exactly like hers but I kept it brief and in terms she could understand. She knows that our bodies will go through changes as we get older. I don’t want her to be afraid of those changes like I was. I had no clue what was going on with my body. I was 8 when I first started developing. I had no explanation other than this happens. Why?
I vowed that day if I had daughters I would teach them. I want our relationship to be as open as possible. I want her and peanut to come to me for answers, but I think it crosses the line when you start teaching them about sex toys, how to reach orgasm, and pleasuring yourself. In Oprah’s words, “this is very controversial.” I would agree!